After getting steadily more busy and stressed over the last few weeks I ended up exhausted over the weekend. Instead of going to an outreach as planned on Sunday, and writing about it today, I ended up ill all afternoon and recovering today.
So instead, here’s a monologue Xpresso presented some time ago about the Samaritan woman at the well in from John chapter 4 of John’s gospel. I know it’s a bit of a cop-out, but I’m also aware that the majority of people who read this have never seen any of my scripts, and I don’t see why you should continue to get away with it…
The Conversation…
(Enter Julia. Dumps stuff on table and goes to phone. Dials.)
Julia: Hi. Mum… It’s me (Pause) Julia. (Pause) Julia Your daughter. (Pause) No, Not the hairdresser… your daughter. (Pause) yes… (Pause) I wanted to tell you something, something really amazing… (To herself, mimicking) “Are you getting married?” (Pause) No we aren’t (Pause) you know why. (Pause) mum, please, we’ve gone over this… about 37 times as I recall. (Pause) no. This is more important. (Pause. Holds phone a bit further from ear) I know I’m not getting any younger (Pause) I know mum; all the other people at your cards club have grandchildren. (Pause) it must be very hard but there’s nothing I… (Pause) Mum, can I get a word in please? (Pause) look, this isn’t easy to understand, in fact I’m not too sure I understand it myself, so will you do me a favour and just listen until I’m finished? (Pause) yes, just listen. (Pause) well perhaps a bit more than normal this time. Ready? Good.
Now you see I’ve just been over at the well. (Pause) yes, I know what sort of woman goes there this time of day. I just … well, I get a bit fed up of the stares and “Man-eater” comments, so I went just now. Anyway, I met this guy there and (Pause) mum, that’s not it, definitely not. (Pause) how I know? Because he’s… well, he’s a Rabbi (Pause, holds phone away from ear) Yes, I know they don’t like us very much, to put it mildly. But this one is –seems to be- different, somehow. (Pause) well, he talked to me: that’s one thing. Had a drink with me too. (Pause) no, don’t worry mum, I’m sure none of your friends saw us together (Pause) yes it would be terrible wouldn’t it? Can I go on now?
Right, so he asks me for a drink. (Pause. Julia agrees with what is being said:) Exactly, that’s what I said. And then he says: “If you knew who I was, you’d be asking me for the living water” well, yes, it was pretty weird. Anyway, so I suggest he might have trouble getting a drink in this town, especially the way he was going about it, and he starts up again. “People get thirsty again after drinking here” he says, and he’s looking at me sort of differently. Like he knows what’s happening here more than me, and he knows me, and it somehow all makes sense to him (Pause) I don’t know (Pause) well, no it wasn’t creepy. It was a bit scary, but it was sort of… safe, in a way, at the same time. Like I was falling off a cliff, but there was something to catch me (Pause) did that make sense? (Pause) No I didn’t think so. I’m still trying to process this myself so you’re just getting ideas as they come. (Pause)
Well then he suddenly breaks the atmosphere and tells me to get my husband (Pause) well, yes. If it was anyone else I would say it was rude, but with him… Anyway, I just say “I don’t have one” and try to change the subject but he says “well at least you’re honest” and he looked at me and tells me everything. (Pause) Everything: All the marriages and the yucky stuff and everything and its’ the same as before, like he knows everything, like he’s some kind of prophet. So I asked him some kind of question. Oh, Something about how they do religion here and his lot do it over there, I don’t know. And he just says “That won’t matter much longer” As if he’s got the inside scoop again. So I say, oh, right when Messiah turns up it’ll all be easy, right? And then… and then, he just says: “I am Messiah.” (Pause, but this one is more for Julia to think than because of an interruption) Just like he was saying his name. It was really quiet, the way he said it but I got the feeling that if he said it any louder the whole valley would shake. How else did he know so much? It’s not like a rabbi could go and ask around the village is it?
What? Oh. He’s still there. His followers came and I ran home and picked up the phone and now I don’t know what to do next but I’ll have to do something quick or I might explode. Look: come and see him (Pause) I don’t care what the neighbours think. I’ve never cared less what they think. In fact I’ll go and tell them as well! (Pause) no I’m not going religious. I might be going a bit crazy, but that’s okay mum. Really. It’s okay… Look. I’m going back. I’ll see you there if you want to come. And mum? it really will be alright… Everything is going to be alright… Love you. (Puts phone downs and leaves)